A Failed Experiment

My first true immersion into nerd culture a couple of years ago when I was about 14. A friend of mine told me to check this thing out – a podcast. A videogame podcast from a site he frequented. I was a bit reluctant at first but one boring, and as it later turned out, fateful night I caved in and decided to finally check it out. Thinking back it’s ridiculous how such an important part of me was birthed from such an insignificant action.

As years passed and I grew up I absorbed their nerdom like a sponge. These guys shaped me more than anything else in the world that I can pinpoint, and they have saved me from many boring nights and depressing teenage days. It was the biggest impact anyone made on me as a person, as it pushed me to discover and try new things, many of which are now my defining features. It’s crazy to think that somebody who doesn’t know of your existence made such a drastic impact to your life, but that does not downplay the importance by any measure.

As I matured and neared the age when I had to decide what to do for the rest of my life the choice was: science or videogames journalism. After a lot of consideration and careful thinking I came to a conclusion that I’d rather make fighting robots, than write about a game where I pretended to be one, but I still wanted to do the latter one; that’s when another podcast came along, which consisted of fans of the original life-changing podcast and these guys made me realize that I can get an engineering degree and dedicate my life to making the world a bit more like Deus Ex, while also doing some creative videogame related stuff on the side.

I started this blog, made a (severely underutilized) YouTube channel and started doing whatever you want to call this. After a while I decided that it was not enough and perhaps I should try recreating the thing that caused the metaphorical Big Bang of my personality. I decided to do a podcast with a bunch of my friends.

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The hosts(sans yours truly).

It went great, we had an awesome time and it probably wasn’t too boring to listen to, but in the end I scrapped the project because I realized that if I want people to want to listen to us I would either have to be extremely cool and possibly an employee of a publication or a very dedicated person, which is unfeasible due to the school workload.

This ended my brief disillusionment and hope that I could recreate that which created me. But perhaps that was only temporary and with time something will come of this. Like many geeks I want to be just like the people I look up to, but it’s important to realize how hard it is to make it; not because you have to be the very best, but mostly because it takes a lot of luck, but on the other hand it is still not out of reach and it’s rather important to look ahead towards something meaningful and dream.

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